


Driven

by reijeux



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Character Death, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-15
Updated: 2015-05-15
Packaged: 2018-03-30 17:09:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3944845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reijeux/pseuds/reijeux
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mikasa had been working on a project. When Erwin came across the project once more, he realized he could actually finish it.<br/>It was when he began to add on all the features that would make it look human that he realized he had the power to bring her back again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Driven

**Author's Note:**

> So at the time, I was playing a rhythm game instead of working on my final paper and got an idea thanks to a song (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6-t_WoGHMgg). I’m sorry and you’re welcome.
> 
> I need to get back into writing more again because my endings are really lacking, dang. This whole thing is lacking, actually.

The project had taken a long time to complete—Erwin was surprised he completed it at all, but… it was finished. _Finally_.

He did his best to include every feature he could remember, from the eyelashes all the way to the small mole on its collarbone. The raven hair he loved so much reached its shoulder blades, and the gray eyes he also adored stared back at him cold, lifeless. Its skin was cold to the touch, but still soft as a human’s would feel.

All he needed to do was switch it on.

There was a very small button in its nape, hidden under its hair and indented so that it would never get pushed and shut the machine down on accident. It could only ever be pushed with a pointed object, such as a paperclip or a pen.

Erwin was met with the soft humming of it switching on after he pushed the button. Lifeless eyes suddenly shined, and it turned its head to look at him.

His heart leapt.

He brought her back.

~

_Mikasa Ackerman had been a colleague at first—very focused and hard-working no matter what challenge was thrown her way._

_Erwin honestly only ever saw her as only a respected coworker in the beginning, so he surprised himself when he discovered a growing interest in her. She was a very intriguing individual, not necessarily anti-social, but kept to herself most of the time unless spoken to. However, Mikasa was far from shy and didn’t embarrass easily; whenever Erwin heard another colleague conversing with her in the break room, he pieced together how dry her humor was—and he liked it._

_Maybe that was when it all started. There was no rule against employees dating, as long as work and private lives were kept separate._

_So then, one day, after working late, he asked her if she wanted to grab a bite to eat with him._

_Surprisingly…_

_She actually agreed to it_.

~

It felt as though life returned to normal. Life returned to when everything was okay.

Everything was right in the world once more.

Erwin woke up to feeling fingers lightly stroking his hair.

“Good morning,” the machine softly spoke. While the machine sounded like her, its voice was just barely human-like. There were slight, unnatural changes in tone with each syllable, but Erwin knew it was impossible for him to fix.

It wasn’t an issue. He could at least still be with her.

Erwin took the machine’s hand and kissed the fingers that had been stroking his hair. Its fingers weren’t warm like a human’s, but they weren’t very cold, either.

“Good morning,” he smiled.

It never slept. Not in the way people did. It needed to be charged, so what better time to do so when it was time for bed?

It would lay in bed plugged in and in its own “sleep mode” as it recharged. When charging was complete, it would remain in sleep mode until it was set to wake up and, in turn, wake Erwin.

~

 _Erwin didn’t think she would be the following morning after their first very night together. He expected her to leave—assuming she didn’t feel that_ spark _that he did._

_But she was still here, dark eyes on him as she ran her fingers through his hair._

_“Good morning,”_ God _, why did she have to be so perfect?_

 _He couldn’t respond properly, too moved that she_ stayed _, she actually_ stayed _, and he kissed her._

_She kissed back._

_She stayed the entire day._

~

“Erwin?” It looked worried. “I’ve lost my wedding ring. Have you seen the last time I had it?”

Erwin was silent for a moment; the machine never had the ring.

“I haven’t seen it.” he said before smiling. “I’ll find it for you, alright?” The machine smiled _her_ smile and nodded.

“Okay… I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have lost it in the first place.”

“Hey, it’s alright, hm?” Erwin caressed its hair and kissed its forehead.

He wondered if the machine was even aware it wasn’t human at all.

~

_Their wedding was small, as they only invited the closest of friends, colleagues, and family. Mikasa wasn’t too interested in having a big celebration, and Erwin was alright with that as long as she was happy._

_So they had the wedding in her parents’ backyard. Her father did warn everyone that it was going to rain mid-afternoon—unfortunately, the rain came earlier._

_Fortunately, the ceremony was nearly over. Not one person came out dry, however._

_Despite the rain, it was still a successful wedding. Wearing the dress that she did, Erwin had never seen Mikasa look so shy._

~

He would find the machine looking through the photo albums he had refused to touch for what felt like ages. Erwin almost wanted to take those albums and tell it not to touch them again, but… something in him stopped him from doing so.

It ran its fingers over a few of the photos, curiosity apparent in its features.

Could a machine like this _actually_ be curious about anything?

It looked up at him before speaking, “I can’t remember any of these.” It looked back down, lightly tapping a picture.

“I don’t remember being pregnant.”

The pain was back again.

“Where is our child?”

~

_She was a strong person. She rarely cried, but when she needed to, she did._

_Mikasa cried for days. When she wasn’t crying, she wandered the house in a daze. Simple tasks were a whole new kind of difficulty and only resulted in more crying; Erwin made sure to keep her away from what was supposed to be the baby’s room. He couldn’t even stand to look inside, either._

_The door was always locked shut. It had taken a year for the both of them to gather up the courage to empty the room, and even then was it a struggle._

_…_

_…_

_…_

_There was a hole in the umbilical cord._

_It was a boy._

~

Maintenance was done often, even when there was nothing wrong with the machine. He had this _need_ to make sure everything was running perfectly.

The machine didn’t question him, but often thanked him for taking such good care of her.

After each session was complete, he would give her a kiss and she would kiss back. She

Things were normal. She was home again.

~

_She was in pain. She did her best to hide it whenever he visited her in the hospital, but he knew._

_Mikasa had grown thin, pale. She didn’t have as much energy as she used to, and, while it wasn’t often, she’d occasionally fall asleep in the middle of conversations._

_Erwin had grown to hate hospitals overtime to the point where he almost stopped visiting her. It wasn’t only the hospital that tempted him—it was seeing her. They both knew she’d have no chance unless they could find the right donor._

_Mikasa seemed to have accepted her fate._

_Erwin refused to._

&

_Mikasa had been working on a project. With the type of profession they were in, he was able to help her with a few things, here and there._

_The project sat dormant for a long while until he gathered the courage to go through her workroom and figure out what to do with everything._

_Mikasa was excited about this project—a helper to have around the house just in case neither of them were home or just were unable to get chores finished just because of workloads. It helped take her mind off of the baby, as well as the upsetting news that she was unable to have anymore children at all._

_Because of how busy she was at work, the project was only a metal skeleton._

_When Erwin came across the project once more, he realized he could actually finish it._

_It was when he began to add on all the features that would make it look human that he realized what he could do. He had the power to bring her back again._

~

“You can’t keep going on like this, Erwin.”

“Like what?”

Nile crossed his arms with Mike standing beside him; they were basically confronting him in his own living room as an _intervention_.

“You know damn well what. She’s _gone_ , Erwin. She has _been_ gone, and the _Mikasa_ you have in the other room? What, is her memory and entire _life_ just one big joke to you?”

Erwin kept silent for a moment; even though Nile was doing the talking, Mike clearly agreed with him as well.

“Mikasa isn’t here anymore, Erwin.” Nile went on, voice softening. “You can’t bring her back, not even in the form of a robot.”

“Robot…?” The machine’s voice sounded from the doorway. “Who’s a robot?” She really wasn’t aware after all.

Erwin moved toward her, “Mikasa, I’ll talk to you upstairs, just--”

She took a couple steps back, “ _I’m_ a robot?”

“Mikasa…”

“All this time? I was supposed to be…” A sudden spark shot up from her nape, and she twitched violently. “I’ m n  o t… w h o …t h O U G H T…?” More sparks erupted from her body, hitting the walls, floor, shelves—anything that was close enough to hit.

Erwin began to panic, “Mikasa, hold on, let me--” Before he could even touch her, Mike had grabbed him first, holding him back. “ _Mike_ , what are you _doing_?! Mikasa needs my help!”

“She’s _not_ Mikasa.”

“ _Mike_!!”

The machine was malfunctioning. The sparks grew, as did her inhuman movements; popping and cracking noises erupted from her body. The amount of sparks she let off finally started several small fires as she took one small, shaky step at a time towards the men.

“e r w I N. g o o d M O R N i n g.” _She_ caught fire. “L O V E.”

Erwin didn’t even have time to think before he found himself in front of his house, door slammed shut as Nile got on his phone. Mike kept a firm grip on him to keep him from going back in—he tried to, though. He really tried.

-

The fire was stopped before it could do any more major damage to the house; however, that didn’t change the fact that many of his belongings were destroyed. _She_ was nothing more than a lifeless, scorched black heap on the floor.

Erwin couldn’t bring himself to be angry at anyone; he was so tired.

&

It had been a while since he actually visited her grave, he realized. He had been so caught up with the machine, that somewhere down the line, he had convinced himself that it was actually her.

Erwin sat on the grass, “I lost myself, Mikasa.” He could only say. “…I’m _still_ lost. You’d probably be shaking your head at me if you saw me now.” Despite how upset he felt, he smiled anyway. His eyes burned.

“I miss you.”

Tears blurred his vision.

“I’m so sorry.”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm never looking at this again, gOD.


End file.
